Loosing a good friend, made me questioned myself, my ego, my selfish me, my life, my being in this world and his world. and how everything is tangled as one and connected to each other. what i do effect him, what he did effect me.
The fact that we took a path in our life to walk on a journey together had made him loose his life.
Make me wonder... what if.. what if... what if...
Make me think every little scenario, every little step i took and he took and they took. Wondering what if i did the steps differently. Would it make any difference?
I who know him for only a year, has discovered how he was such a good person, love and loved by his family and friends.
Have felt how painful it is loosing him from my sight, my life.
Can't describe how his friends whom had been his best friend for more than 20 years....
nor the feeling of loosing a son.. a husband.. a father... a brother...
the pain inside is killing us whom left by his being...
the pain of knowing that every lil part of us are in this together and affected by him ...
the pain of beating ourselves with blame and guilt; make us cant sleep, cant think, and walk with pain painted on our faces and gestures.
From all the path and sadness I've gone through so far. Nothing can beat this.
how can we move on from all this? how can we accept fully for what have happened right in front of our eyes. How can we understand that it is meant to be no matter what we do differently.
That it's just simply.... his time to go.....
The fact that we took a path in our life to walk on a journey together had made him loose his life.
Make me wonder... what if.. what if... what if...
Make me think every little scenario, every little step i took and he took and they took. Wondering what if i did the steps differently. Would it make any difference?
I who know him for only a year, has discovered how he was such a good person, love and loved by his family and friends.
Have felt how painful it is loosing him from my sight, my life.
Can't describe how his friends whom had been his best friend for more than 20 years....
nor the feeling of loosing a son.. a husband.. a father... a brother...
the pain inside is killing us whom left by his being...
the pain of knowing that every lil part of us are in this together and affected by him ...
the pain of beating ourselves with blame and guilt; make us cant sleep, cant think, and walk with pain painted on our faces and gestures.
From all the path and sadness I've gone through so far. Nothing can beat this.
how can we move on from all this? how can we accept fully for what have happened right in front of our eyes. How can we understand that it is meant to be no matter what we do differently.
That it's just simply.... his time to go.....
